From Legal Briefs to Baby Bibs: My Unscripted Pivot into Full-Time Motherhood
Life is renowned for its uncanny ability to catch us off guard, and it certainly did not spare me. The surprises it had in store for me came in four delightful forms - my children, Ryan, Conor, Patrick, and Elise.
Back in 1990, fresh off passing the bar exam, I was an enthusiastic attorney, eager to make my mark in the world. Following a jubilant celebration, I secured a coveted position at a prominent law firm, embarking on my journey in trial law. As the daughter of a distinguished trial lawyer and the wife of a commercial real estate attorney, I was intimately familiar with the language and rhythm of the law. I never doubted my trajectory towards career success before starting a family.
However, life had an alternate course charted for me. An unexpected addition to our family, my son Ryan, altered the course of my path. Post-maternity leave, the struggle to balance my professional life with new motherhood became apparent. I felt well-prepared for the legal challenges I faced in the office, yet unprepared for the nuances of motherhood. This precipitated my decision to take a brief hiatus, which eventually expanded into a nine-year intermission from my professional pursuits, accompanied by the arrival of three more lovely children. Transitioning from a budding attorney to a full-time mother was not in my original life blueprint, but the unplanned often leads us to the most enriching experiences.
The rewards of this path were numerous, including the privilege of witnessing all my children's milestones, contributing meaningfully to their growth and development, and experiencing their lives firsthand. However, it was not devoid of its challenges. The fear of losing professional momentum, the evident gap in my resume, questions about my identity beyond motherhood, and the financial implications (an average stay-at-home mother in the U.S. forgoes approximately $707,000 in potential lifetime income) were real and pressing issues.
Choosing to be a full-time parent is a significant decision filled with questions like, "Can I return to my career at a later stage?," "Is it feasible to manage on a single income?," "Will I find contentment?," and "How do I respond when asked about my profession?" These questions are commonplace and entirely valid.
The decision to stay at home was not a renunciation of my career; rather, it was an acceptance of a new, challenging, and rewarding role – that of a mother to my four wonderful children.
If you're contemplating full-time motherhood or already navigating its landscape, bear in mind that there is no standardized route. Each of us must chart our unique course. Practice self-compassion, acknowledge your victories, regardless of their size, and remember, while careers may be deferred, the precious moments with your children pass all too quickly.
